- I'm too old. Age 34.
- I'm too tired. Okay, It's 12:18am.
- I'm used to my old skin.
- I have three small kids.
- I'd like to go to church more often.
- I have a full time job.
- I'm trying to write a novel.
- I'm trying to revise another novel that I already wrote.
- Facebook is lots more fun than food journaling.
- Facebook is a lot more fun that exercising.
- Pretty sure I have a husband somewhere.
- I need to do laundry.
- I should really wash the dishes.
- Never mind cleaning the house.
- I don't want to get sweaty before church on Sunday or work on Monday.
- I'm thinking of an excuse why I don't want to get sweaty on Saturday mornings.
- My volunteer commitments have hit a new high this year.
- Georgia Romance Writers. I'm the Vice President of Programs and Conference Co-Chair.
- Decatur Book Festival. I'm a stage captain and begging for a good stage.
- I have to change the litter box and feed the cat.
- The media has graciously told me that it is okay to be large, therefore I don't need to worry about my personal health or fitness.
- Don't, don't get me started on the media on black women . . . It is particularly cool for me to be overweight as long as I'm the comic relief. (Now you think of all the things I've said in complete seriousness that you found hysterical. Time for an Arsenio Hall "Hmmm" moment.)
- I'm pretty sure I brought sexy back before Timberlake did. So I don't need to lose weight.
- I gotta man. (What's your man gotta do with me?)
- My weight is my security blanket. Would you make Linus give up his?
- I like food. Buying food. Smelling food. Tasting food.
- I don't know what my life will be like if I hit my goal weight.
- I'm scared.
- I'm healthy enough.
- Exercising takes time away from my family.
- I feel selfish.
- I gain weight when I'm both happy and sad.
- My body is like a big cushion for my kids. They won't want to cuddle with a smaller me.
- I'm smaller than some people, isn't that good enough?
- Food is how I show love to myself and my family.
- It is easier to be a failure than to be a success.
1. I would like to see a change in myself.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. -- Marianne Williamson
One of my sisters had a harsh conversation with me about my writing last year. She encouraged me to spend more time writing, and I responded with a variation of the list above. She told me to google "fear inadequate powerful" and told me I was afraid of being successful in my writing.
Okay maybe two reasons why . . .
2. Haruki Murakami
I was about to turn thirty. I was reaching the age at which I wouldn't be considered young anymore. And, pretty much out of the blue, it occurred to me to write a novel. I can pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. It was at 1:30 P.M., April 1, 1978. I was at Jingu Stadium, alone in the outfield, watching a baseball game. . .
If you have a chance read this article from The New Yorker 09-JUN-2008 "The Running Novelist". My friend Gaby mailed me the article around the same time I had this conversation with my sister. I think she was trying to tell me something about my writing, too. But, I had a 10 month old baby. But I had a two-year old and a four-year old. But I was working. But, but, but. That was only a year ago.
Murakami started writing, gave up smoking, and started running after the age of 30. He's done all right at these things.
The things we are supposed to do, we will do, in spite of the obstacles. My comma usage is way off there, but you get the idea. Weird Weight Loss Tip: You can list 100 reason why not, but all you need is one reason why to get started. Somehow my writing and personal fitness are intertwined this year. Happy eating and exercising.
Wednesday Exercise Journal
1 hr yoga
6 flights of stairs
1 hr dance party at kids' school
1 hr Get Ripped 1,000 with Jari Love (and I do love her)
Wednesday Food Journal
150 - 2 boiled eggs
120 - Coffee with milk
165 - Salmon salad
220 - Sushi
075 - Honeydew
100 - Pretzels
600 - Burger with no bun at school. I have no idea how many calories are in a school hamburger, but my guess is a lot.
090 - Cheese
050 - Fruit