Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Maladies of a Black Girl on a Diet

Sorry I don't have a pretty picture today. You aren't here for the pretty pictures, are you? I'm also sorry about the typos. This is not ever going to be the perfectly copyedited blog.

I’d be lying if I told you I didn't have rough moments over the past three weeks. Tired, angry, frustrated moments. I’m most surprised that I rarely (twice that I can think of) have hungry moments. I thought that would be my biggest complaint. My youngest child woke up at 4:45 a.m. this morning, so I figure today is as good of a day as any to vent. Some things that irritate me about changing my life:

  • The number of plastic containers I now have to wash, or run through the dishwasher each night. Packing my lunch everyday means lots of plastic containers.
  • My arm fat. I hate it so much I can't even talk about it.
  • I don’t like coffee, but when I do drink coffee I like lots of milk in it. Having being up since the butt-crack of dawn, I’ve had today 1) a cup of half caf (half decaf and half regular coffee) and 2) cup of decaf coffee. Due to the volume of milk I like, both cups equaled a whooping 120 calories. But ya’ll coffee just doesn’t taste that good to me without the milk in it. I could have eaten a ton of other things for those 120 stinking calories.
  • When I do a set stair (6 flights to the top) at work, I get a little heated. It is not cool to feel sweaty in my work clothes.
  • My hair is a sweaty mess. Black girls don’t like getting sweaty or prefer to only get sweaty at appropriate intervals. All the sweating is ruining my do, and you know I can only get it did so often. I’m trying to extra condition my hair, but right now all the sweat is like a saltwater bath every day.
  • Sweat acne. I don’t know if this is real or if I just made it up. But I have self-diagnosed myself with this condition!
  • My house is a disaster area. Ok, my house was often a disaster area before the fitness kick, but in addition to 13 Barbie Dolls and 500 Thomas the Train pieces, I’ve got 2 yoga mats, 8 risers, 2 benches, various weights between 5 and 15 lbs, and a 27 lb barbell cluttering in my family room. I don’t really need a bigger house. I need kids and cat to live in a tent in the backyard and forage for food.
  • My current yoga practice is a great source of amusement for the masses. When yoga starts, the kids and cat emerge from the woodwork like zombies. The girls (5 and 3) are older and pretty good at yoga because they’ve been watching us for years. But the boy and the cat . . . they treat me like a piece of furniture during yoga. Nothing like cat fur in your mouth or a hug from a 2 year old when you are trying to Chaturanga Dandasana
  • The haters (I will go into greater detail on them in a future blog) and the “I can’ts.” “I can’t do what you’re doing.” Yeah well, neither can I, but I’m doing it anyway. I’m not telling anyone to do what I am doing. Maybe I watch too much LOST. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” If it works for John Locke it can work for me, double namaste. (Another blog is forthcoming on all the reasons why I “can’t” do this)
  • My biggest complaint: I feel like I shouldn’t complain!

Weird weight loss tip.
I did a lot of grunting last night in kickboxing class. I know there's a tennis chick who got into a lot of trouble for the noise she makes. I'm guessing each grunt is worth a good 1-2 calories. My favorite part of last night’s class is when the instructor stood between a student and the body bag and made the student kick and punch him. My second favorite part is when upon seeing my form, he burst into hysterically laughter.

Another weird weight loss tip. Hysterical laughter. Good for at least 5-7 calories burned. Happy eating and exercising.

Tuesday Exercise Journal
30 minute walk
18 flights of stairs
1 hour kickboxing

Tuesday Food Journal
060 - Coffee
100 - Banana
035 - Kashi
055 - Plain Yogurt
350 - Tuna sandwich
035 - Cheese (Laughing Cow Light)
100 - Cherries
070 - Nuts
165 - 1/2 Salmon Salad Whole Foods
300 - Sushi
030 - 1 Bite of most delicious sugar cookie from Whole Foods


  1. You should try Almond Dream (I like vanilla unsweetened) in your coffee; it has half the calories of skim milk but still tastes great. I also love a little coffee in my milk and went looking for alternatives. You can find it with shelf milks in the natural food section.

    Don't feel bad about the laughter. When I was in boot camp, my instructor called my bunny hops 'half-dead, broken-leg bunny hops'.

    -Mandy :)

  2. I love almond dream, but I'm careful since it has fat. I never thought about putting it in my coffee! Sounds good. Back when I wasted my caloriess I loved adding a shot of almond syrup into my coffee. I don't recommend this except as a treat. They don't make sugarfree almond syrup yet. :(

    I heard a rumor that you were a bad a$$ in boot camp. :)

  3. The Pride of SalinasAugust 5, 2009 at 3:59 PM

    I am not a morning person. Did I mention that I am not a morning person? I am not a morning person. However, yoga at 5:30 a.m. takes on an added dimension (like the 5th one in the Twilight Zone) when the "Ladies Man" (aka 2-yr-old Nolie) decides that at every one of Daddy's downward dogs, he's going to roll the front wheel of his tricycle onto Daddy's hands. Also, graham cracker crumbs on my yoga mat: not cool. Despite my wahh, wahhing, a great way to start the day.

  4. Pride, I like having you as my yoga partner in crime. You forgot to mention graham cracker crumbs were due to the fact that little monster was trying to shove the graham cracker in your mouth while in down dog. I commend you for most graciously deflecting (for calorie and boy's sake). But if he wakes up at 4:45am tomorrow... :) Night, night at 8pm for monsters, 9:47pm for us tonight!

  5. Oh, Nicki. Just did this over the last year when I lost thirty pounds--I'll be thinking about you.

    As for coffee, I discovered that fat free half & half helped with the milk situation and three tablespoons is something like 30-40 calories. That would be my suggestion.

    Love the Laughing Cow BTW


  6. Nicki-have you tried the Wasa (aka cardboard) crackers? Laughing Cow cheese kills the cardboard flavor, for the most part.

    Love your early-morning yoga practice--as a non-morning person I really respect the dedication. That I clearly don't have.

    Keep up the great work!

  7. Hey Nicki,

    Loved the blog. I totally get the sweating out the do problem because I go through that with my daughter and her soccer practice. I just started my diet today so this was an encouragement for me. Thanks for sharing.

    Dianna Shuford

  8. Sally, "fat free" half and half? That is like saying: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" A conundrum for sure.

    Vanessa, I love the morning. Right now I want to lay down and sleep. 47 mins to go!

    Dianna, let's motivate each other. Oh, I remember soccer days. Somehow as a teen hair drama was much less drama.

    Thanks, guys! I'm counting on your for continued suggestions and knocking cookies out of my hand. Cookies are a sometimes food.