10 Presents to Myself

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong. Nicki age 2.
Today is my birthday! I love birthdays. I want to thank my parents, and especially my mom for enduring not just my delivery at birth, but also my delivery from many of life’s trauma. Happy birthday to you, mom, and thanks for everything. Today is really a day I celebrate you!

I recent celebrated my sister's 40th birthday. We spent the weekend with her best girlfriends at Château Elan for nice food, wine, and spa fun. While the other ladies were getting their spa treatments, I wrote by a fireplace and enjoyed a rare block of time free of demands. I knew that what I needed more than a massage was time to write. It was a gift I gave myself.

A few years ago, I started a book I called “30 Presents to Myself”. It was a comedy and here is the synopsis: A woman on the eve of her 35 birthday finds the list of things she was supposed to have done before her 30 birthday. She hasn’t completed any of the things on the list, many thankfully so, but now she wants to give herself 30 presents. Each chapter is a funny contrast between what she thought she would need at 30 and what she realizes she really needs to be happy at 35. Even if it is five years too late!

Here’s is my confession. Today is my 35th birthday, and I never finished writing that book. Every once in a while I write a chapter or tweak the plot. I think I'll go back to working on it. As for today I will give myself 10 presents. Hopefully, you can share some of these presents with me, too.

Sweet 16. Same blingy smile, different birthday!

Ten Presents to Myself

10. NaNoWriMo. November is National Novel Writing Month. What a great birthmonth present. Even if you aren’t officially signed up take the time to write. Best present you can give yourself if you are a writer.

9. Don’t be ashamed of yourself. For this day forward, I would like to be able to proudly state my age AND weight for the rest of my life. I’m 35 years old and 160 lbs. I could still stand to lose another 20lb, but remember I’m doing it slowly. When I’m 70, I’m going to want to remember how much I enjoyed being 35 not how much I lamented it. I've also be heavier and lighter and the last thing I want to worry about is my weight. On another planet, I'd only weigh a few pounds!

8. No gifts please. I don’t like birthday presents. Presents make me feel uncomfortable. So do greeting cards. Trees die, papers wasted. But I do like to know how my friends are doing on this day or any day. Tell me something good you’ve done for yourself and that will make my birthday a happy one.

7. I'm going to take a walk. I'm going to renew my energy in eating well and exercising.

6. I treated myself to a DuMore Improv Women’s Retreat workshop last month. I realized that my hesitation has to do with my fear of doing things wrong. I learned that the art of comedy (and creating) has to do with letting go, listening, and reacting positively to what you hear. Creating and comedy and improv are also about reacting in unexpected ways.

5. I sent out 7 query letters. Two agents have kindly declined. Two have requested the full manuscript. I’m waiting on the rest. My next birthday presents to myself will be sending out more queries and the final manuscript.

4. I wrote the last chapter of my book, but I am still writing (and re-writing) and still filled with self-doubt and hope. Self-doubt and hope are enemies, but they also work together to keep you from achieving your dreams.

Nicki at age 34.9 as Uhura. Sexy Geek!
3. Thirty days later and my life has calmed down enough to realized the great gift I received with my Maggie Award. Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.

2. Celebrate every birthday as though it is better than the one before. The American Cancer Society has a cool birthday campaign out right now. Do you know what some people would do for another birthday? Treasure yours. (On a side note, the third Thursday in November is the Great American Smokeout. Consider quitting smoking or encouraging a loved one to quit. You might help save their life or your own.)

1. Say a pray for someone else. I’m probably here today because of other people's prayers. Mostly my mom and dad. Maybe family or friends. Maybe even the prayers of strangers. If you are the kind to pray or meditate, could you spare a moment from my dear friend Christina Crook and her husband Mercer Crook today? They need prayers more than I need birthday wishes today.

I hope you have a wonderful day and birthday and writing day! Happy NaNoWriMo. Get writing and enjoy it.

10 Absolutely Ridiculous Reasons Why

Two months ago, I told you 36 reasons why I didn't/shouldn't/couldn't lose weight and only 2 reasons why I would. I've lost 10 lbs since that blog and my perspective has changed quite a bit. I can't really think of any reasons why not to lose weight anymore. (Don't worry. I've still got mental problems like why I'm not putting my novel in the mail. . . )








10 Absolutely Ridiculous Reasons Why I'm Losing Weight

10. Toilet seat is roomier. Coach class seat on airplane doesn't quite feel like first class, but it feels like business class on a crop plane.
9. My waist is getting lower. My pants are getting longer.
8. I can see myself a little more clearly. I'd expound on that, but I'd like to get some sleep tonight.
7. I'm at peace with my belly skin.
6. I'm filling my old "hunger" with things that are important to me.
5. No more "failure" and "setbacks". I have to brush them out of my life daily like I brush my teeth. I don't have time to dwell on them.
4. I eat the things I want, because have more space in my stomach. My stomach used to be filled with food I didn't particularly want.
3. I'm more in tuned to my body. I can hear my needs and signals more clearly.
2. Muscles and definition in my legs make me happy.
1. This ones a tough one. . . Wrinkles. If you lose weight now, it is healthier for you. If you lose weight later, you will seem more wrinkly faster. Think about it. You can and should lose weight at any age, but don't wait to lose a lot of weight when you are older. You'll look wrinkly. Go ahead and lose the weight now!

Weird Weight Loss Tip
Admit your errors. Sometimes my best isn't good enough. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you've practiced asking for help. You've told your friends and family thank you for helping you change your life. Sometimes you have to tell them you are sorry, too. Work stress and life stress can impact how you treat the people you love especially if you are over worked, calorie deprived, and exercise exhausted.

Say you are sorry.
Dear what's-his-name, I'm sorry for my mistakes, but I'm thankful that you think I can do so much more. It is so easy for you to believe in me. But it is not always easy for me. You men and your pragmatism! Ugh! It is frustrating. Women are filled with self-doubt and loathing. I'm going to take a lesson from you and grab the bull my the horns and other wonderful man cliches. I can't say any mushy stuff because it isn't my way. But you know and you're welcome.

How do the rest of you feel? Like you just stepped into my living room? Welcome, but watch for Cheerios. We include them as part of our emotional chaos. They are our happy land mines. Give me an update on how you are doing. Tell me why you are losing weight. Tell me what you've done wrong. Until later, happy eating and exercising. Also, happy happiness.

19 lbs Gone Forever

Weigh In: -19lbs! (Weight loss to date since July 12)

Can you believe it? I hit the 19 lb mark this week. I've never lost 19 lbs in my whole life including after birthing my babies. Each time I step on the scale I remind myself that the pounds cannot come back. They have to go away forever. My goal was to be at the 20 lb mark this week, but I'm still proud of my progress.

I like to stress a lot, so this week I'm working on still losing weight while stressing out.

Weird Weight Loss Tips
Imaginary food and exercise journals. I love my food and exercise journals, but I've been without them for weeks. I've been trying to keep track of what I eat and how I exercise mentally. Let's face it. It isn't as productive as really writing it down, but my imaginary food and exercise journals are helping me continue to reach my weight loss goals.

Figure out what stresses you. Please stand by for a mini-therapy session: I'm stressed when I lose control. Keeping food and exercise journals are good for my personality. Getting on the scale is good for my personality. I like graphs and records and progress notes. Not everyone likes to do this, but I do like the order and control of measuring out my food.

Here's a picture of what my breakfast, snack, and lunch may look like. Order! Control! Organized Happiness! For those who really know me and know what my house looks like, food order is sort of my only hope. The rest of my life is a whirlwind of chaos.

Control in Weight Loss = Life Control
My dirty little secret is that the better I control what I eat and how I exercise, the better I control my entire life. Writing, cleaning, momming, working, you name it.

What stresses you? What works for you? What progress have you made toward your goals? Don't forget to read my October story. Until soon, happy exercising and eating!

The Rest of the Story

Have you missed me? I’ve missed you.

I’ve had a very busy month. As my facebook flair so aptly puts it, “I’m too busy to tell people how busy I am.” Therefore I will spare you the full drama of the last three weeks, and give you a brief summary of what you need to know.

First. News about my diet and exercise progress. I have not written in my food journal in three weeks. I haven’t been regular with my exercise either. This would be a bummer, except I still lost two pounds over the last three weeks. I continued making better food choices and exercising (mainly yoga) when I could. The happiest news of all is that I reached my 10% weight loss goal! I am very happy that I’m still making progress. The only thing that has changed is the speed of the progress, but 10% is awesome. I am supposed to call my H3 friend Robert, but I can’t find his phone number! If you talk to him, let him know I miss him and appreciate his support.

Second. The Moonlight & Magnolias Conference. I had the pleasure of being the conference co-chair for Georgia Romance Writers signature event of the year. Let us just say that the committee worked very hard this year, and we are super tired. It is twelve hours post conference and I’m still having the shakes. 250 wonderful attendees, literary agents and editors, bestselling authors and aspiring writers. Too much fun and not enough sleep. I have to give a special thanks to Michelle Newcome for righting the wrongs and “spreading the bed.” Though we were roommates, “spreading the bed” is actually a dance and not a domestic chore.

Third. The Maggie Award for Excellence. Having been a bit distracted by healthy eating and exercising, life, and then conference planning, I forgot that I was Maggie Award finalist. When I did remember, I knew I was not going to receive the award. I was up against excellent competition, especially my fellow GRW member Tracy Kelly Solheim. There are so many wonderful writers up for this award. While I’m proud to say that I’m the 2009 Maggie Award recipient in the Single Title category, I am less than proud to say I did not have a proper speech prepared. I think I thanked Sherrilyn Kenyon’s husband.

Fourth. If you'd like to read my real writing, please join Petit Fours and Hot Tamales for our First Scavenger Hunt! Go to http://petitfoursandhottamales.blogspot.com and look for the clues where you can find my October-themed story “Maize” on my website. Send me your feedback! If you need a hint, look on the right side bar and follow the pumpkins . . .

Weird Weight Loss Tip
Smile. I smiled so much this week my face hurts. But my heart is happy. Smiling makes you work more efficiently. It also makes the mean people go away. Therefore smiling must also burn calories!

More to come this week. I may need a day or so to get back on track, but I will be working hard to get to my new 10% goal! Until then happy hunting for my short story “Maize” and happy eating and exercising!

Note to a Stalker

I got an interesting note from stalker this week. I started to respond to this person a dozen times since getting her/his heartfelt note. But s/he is right. Failing is embarrassing. I’ve been failing for the past two weeks. It is my not-so-secret shame. Not only have I not done what I needed to do, I have loads of excuses. Travel, illness, sick kids . . . Ya’ll know I love to have maladies.

I was supposed to have made much better progress than I’d made up until last week. This week, I was supposed to be back on track. Enter two feverish sick kids and one me with a rather serious allergic reaction to something I ate. But I also walked when I could (including a flight of stairs which is not so easy when you can’t breathe) and kept my food journal! Hey, I’m not a failure. I’m a human. If there is one lesson I’ve learned from Star Trek and Terminator it is that the androids (Data) and the cyborgs (Arnold) want to be more human not less. Being human is totally cool.

Anyway, I attract the nicest stalkers. This one always has a smile on her/his face. Now I have some life advice, not diet advice: The only way to be successful is to learn to deal with failure. Those of you who know me know that I’m rarely embarrassed by anything. I once stepped off the bus in front of my high school and fell flat on my face and my book bag spilled open. Knowing the kind of nerd I am, you can only imagine the flurry of papers and books that went flying. But I shoved my stuff into my backpack and walked into the building with my head held high. Why? I have no clue! Panic kept me calm.

I try to focus on these things each day:

• I like eating healthy. To my stalker, should I leave some apples on your front porch?
• I like exercising. Walking used to really get on my nerves, but it is my happy time now.
  
• I love yoga. Been this way for years. Namaste.
• I like myself fat or not as fat. Win-win if I lose weight.
• I only care what these people think: God, my husband, my mom. Unfortunately, the rest of you will have to deal with me as I am. If I fail, I only have to answer to myself, God, my husband and my mom. I do not have to answer to you.
  
• I am okay with failure. Falling off the wagon. Setbacks. I will deal with them as they come. I’m training myself for the marathon not the sprint, folks! Remember, didn't I warn you that this was the slowest, nothing ever happens, not quick (but hopefully long lasting) diet you've ever seen?
  

Weird Weight Loss Tips
Be well. Being sick can mess up your exercise habits and make you crave unwise food choices. Take your vitamins. Get rest. Eat a baked potato and have some soup. Focus on your exercise plan for when you are better. That’s what I'm doing. Still on the road to recovery.

Weird Weight Loss Tips for my Stalker
Don't do what I do. I am a bad example for everything. Stay in the closet. If telling the world you are trying to lose weight doesn’t work for you, keep it in the closet (Thanks, Michael Jackson, but I was really thinking of that that awesome R. Kelly song Trapped in the Closet. Viewing or listening to all or part of this song is an appetite suppressant, oh, yes it was). If you really want to keep your weight loss under wraps, don’t tell your spouse or me. I can’t keep a secret.

Be patient. Really. Think about it. Don't expect results to happen right away. Plan on making a permanent life change. This leads me to my final weird weight loss tip . . .

You are going to have to marry healthy eating and exercising. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes your weight loss in a baby carriage.

Thanks for bearing with and without me this week. Happy eating and exercising until Monday! To my stalker: I love you! I know you can do it. Want to make a walking date with me?

Sari, Charlie

This weekend I got wrapped in nine yards of the most beautiful blue and turquoise silk sari you've ever seen. For those of you who don't know a sari (or saree or shari) is a drape that is wrapped around you and turns into a lovely dress. If Cinderella had been really lucky her fairy godmother would have put her in one of these!


Mitra is the groom's aunt. She helped me get into the sari.

Here are some pictures of me getting dressed and enjoying the wedding reception.

I've been trying to stay focused on eating well and exercising, but I got majorly sidetracked this week with a business trip, volunteer event, and wedding all in the space of 7 days. Unfortunately, I haven't written in my food journal all week, but I did make concerted efforts to exercise daily even when I was away from home.

I love this picture of me and Albertine, the lovely bride in red.

Nicki and Mitra ready to party!

I have to give a special thanks to my friend Meredith for letting me borrow her sari. Meredith is the best!

Nicki Does the Right Thing

• Saturday: Stage Captain at the Decatur Book Festival.
  
• Sunday: Took a walk in Pittsburgh.
  
• Sunday and Monday: Walked to and from the airport terminals instead of taking the train or moving side walks.
• Monday: Walked up the broken escalator to baggage claim in Atlanta. That is a tall escalator. We could have taken the working escalators or elevator.
  
• Monday: Got off a stop early on MARTA and walked two miles to get home. I complained heartily about this, but fortunately my husband is a great motivator. He encouraged me, and he dragged my suitcase for me.
• Future: I have big plans to be back on track starting on Tuesday!

Weird Weight Loss Tips

Volunteer. Work a book festival, an art festival, sort cans at a food bank. Most volunteer activities are physically challenging. Do something nice for your community and get some exercise, too.

Indian Food. Aloo Gobi, Palak Paneer, and other yummy treats. Indian food has lots of vegetables. Depending on the region, some dishes have meat and some are vegetarian. Yogurt is another standard item in Indian cuisine. It help digestion and helps with the spiciness if you don't like it hot. Fennel is cooked in some dishes and might be served at the end of the meal. It sweetens your breath, has fiber, and does other magic stuff. I'm not a huge fan of fennel, but when in Rome . . . I am, though, a huge fan of Indian food. Palak Paneer is my favorite.

Spicy food in general. This could be Jamaican, Korean, Mexican, you name it. I ate way too much food this weekend, but since a lot of the food was spicy I really couldn't overindulge the way my American stomach would like. Spicy food slowed down my eating, allowed me more time to concentrate on flavors, and forced me to drink more water.

Hope you had a happy and safe Labor Day. Remind me to eat and exercise well this week. Namaste! Let me know what you are doing to stay on track.

Dear Old Pennsylvania

Weird Weight Loss Tips

Google Maps. I wanted to see the campus of the University of Pennsylvania so I mapped it from my hotel in downtown Philadelphia. According to Google my one way trip was 2.5 miles. Then I walked for 20 minutes on campus. Probably another mile. Then made the return trip back to my hotel. Because of Google Maps I knew exactly how far I walked and how long to plan for the walk. Everyone said walking to Penn and back was too far to walk. It wasn't! Thank you, Google Maps, for encouraging me to take a journey I would not have taken last year.


Sight See History
I also printed out some self-guided walking tours of historic Philadelphia. Visiting tourist attractions on foot forces you to get exercise and the historic landmark is like a reward! A self-guided tour is a grand idea. Than you, William Penn. Thank you, Ben Franklin. After all that walking through Philly, I'm totally on first name basis with these dudes.

Head Toward Water
There are always walking, biking, and rollerblading paths near the water. We found them along the Mississippi in St. Paul last month. I saw plenty of exercisers near the Schuylkill River in Philadelphia.

Happy eating and exercising over Labor Day. Three day weekend! Be good to yourself until Tuesday.