Tuesday, July 19, 2011

You know you're on a diet when...

You can differentiate the distinct flavors for Equal, Sweet-n-Low, Splenda, Stevia, Truvia, honey, brown sugar, cane sugar, and white sugar.

Same goes for Diet Coke and Coke Zero.

If you don't drink a Diet Coke every day you turn into The Hulk. (Maybe She-Hulk, but a hulk nonetheless).

You know the low calorie food options at Wendy’s (it’s the chili).

You consider the following cheat food: Corn.

You have counted out the 55 pieces that equal one serving of goldfish crackers and 140 calories.

You know how many calories are in one single Dorito.

You know what glycemic index means.

You know the glycemic index of a banana.

You have tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Nutri-system, and thought they were too expensive. At the same time, you’ve spent equal money and calories at Starbucks without a second thought.

Then you’ve tried Atkins, The Zone, South Beach, The Cookie diet, and the Paleo diet. You are pretty sure that diets that make you feel crazy must work.

You’ve had the South Beach flu.

You once drank cabbage soup for three days straight.

You've invented your own diet more than once. (See the George Clooney diet and the Star Trek diet).

You’ve considered cutting your hair to lose weight.

You don’t weigh-in until you’ve shaved and exfoliated. I mean really exfoliated. I mean shaved everything.

You count sex as exercise (and your husband isn’t complaining).

You caught yourself discussing your bowel movements with your co-workers. During lunch.

You have stayed up not once, not twice, but five times to watch the P90X infomercial at 2 a.m.

You’ve been dieting for five months and lost five pounds. Your husband goes jogging twice in a week and looses six pounds.

What are some weird things that you do when you are dieting? Let me know in the comments.

Weight in (July 5 to date): -5.6 lbs! Food journals and recipes coming soon! Happy eating and exercising.


  1. Too funny, Nicki!

    I know what you mean about the corn. Corn! All those years I thought it was a vegetable, not the enemy!

    I'm going to share your sex as exercise theory with my dh. :-)

  2. Ah! what really burns me is the man playing basketball twice a week and looking svelte( Happy about it for his sake)and I go to Jazzercise and maybe loose some water weight.

    PS Three candied fruit slices=One serving=130 calories.

  3. I don't diet often, so the way I know I am now is that everytime I walk by the candy bars in the break room, and angry voice in my head screams "220 CALORIES!!"

    I also weighed (out of curiosity) this morning and it was 2lbs higher than yesterday morning. I promptly blamed the jeans. Jeans weigh 2lbs, right?

  4. Have you been following me around? LOL!! Great post.

    I believe my real hobby is collecting diet books.

    Point taken about Starbucks. Very true. :) Dang it.

  5. LOL Nicki! I can relate to quite a few of these. The Starbucks one really hit home, girl. :(

    LOVE the sex as exercise comment and damn it, I did eat cabbage soup for more than two weeks to support a friend who was getting married. During that time we attended two wedding shows and do you know what they serve at wedding shows??? Yes, all kinds of goodies they are trying to get you to buy for your reception. That was tough. We didn’t partake but after the two weeks were up and we had gained back every ounce we lost, both of us decided life was way too short to give up something like that again. Not that we would do it all the time, but I’ve still never seen some of those foods again.

    Best of luck with this. Don’t just watch those P90X videos, get out and do them. You don’t have to be a fanatic. I do the wimpy man version and lost fifteen pounds before the end of last year. Am working my way into doing another 3 months worth. Maybe someone would like to be virtual exercise buddies and encourage each other through the routine???


  6. Thanks guys! I'm adding a new one:

    You go for a walk in your business clothes even though it is 103 degrees in South Carolina. At night.