You know you're on a diet when...

You can differentiate the distinct flavors for Equal, Sweet-n-Low, Splenda, Stevia, Truvia, honey, brown sugar, cane sugar, and white sugar.

Same goes for Diet Coke and Coke Zero.

If you don't drink a Diet Coke every day you turn into The Hulk. (Maybe She-Hulk, but a hulk nonetheless).

You know the low calorie food options at Wendy’s (it’s the chili).

You consider the following cheat food: Corn.

You have counted out the 55 pieces that equal one serving of goldfish crackers and 140 calories.

You know how many calories are in one single Dorito.

You know what glycemic index means.

You know the glycemic index of a banana.

You have tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Nutri-system, and thought they were too expensive. At the same time, you’ve spent equal money and calories at Starbucks without a second thought.

Then you’ve tried Atkins, The Zone, South Beach, The Cookie diet, and the Paleo diet. You are pretty sure that diets that make you feel crazy must work.

You’ve had the South Beach flu.

You once drank cabbage soup for three days straight.

You've invented your own diet more than once. (See the George Clooney diet and the Star Trek diet).

You’ve considered cutting your hair to lose weight.

You don’t weigh-in until you’ve shaved and exfoliated. I mean really exfoliated. I mean shaved everything.

You count sex as exercise (and your husband isn’t complaining).

You caught yourself discussing your bowel movements with your co-workers. During lunch.

You have stayed up not once, not twice, but five times to watch the P90X infomercial at 2 a.m.

You’ve been dieting for five months and lost five pounds. Your husband goes jogging twice in a week and looses six pounds.

What are some weird things that you do when you are dieting? Let me know in the comments.

Weight in (July 5 to date): -5.6 lbs! Food journals and recipes coming soon! Happy eating and exercising.