Friday, September 11, 2009

Note to a Stalker

I got an interesting note from stalker this week. I started to respond to this person a dozen times since getting her/his heartfelt note. But s/he is right. Failing is embarrassing. I’ve been failing for the past two weeks. It is my not-so-secret shame. Not only have I not done what I needed to do, I have loads of excuses. Travel, illness, sick kids . . . Ya’ll know I love to have maladies.

I was supposed to have made much better progress than I’d made up until last week. This week, I was supposed to be back on track. Enter two feverish sick kids and one me with a rather serious allergic reaction to something I ate. But I also walked when I could (including a flight of stairs which is not so easy when you can’t breathe) and kept my food journal! Hey, I’m not a failure. I’m a human. If there is one lesson I’ve learned from Star Trek and Terminator it is that the androids (Data) and the cyborgs (Arnold) want to be more human not less. Being human is totally cool.

Anyway, I attract the nicest stalkers. This one always has a smile on her/his face. Now I have some life advice, not diet advice: The only way to be successful is to learn to deal with failure. Those of you who know me know that I’m rarely embarrassed by anything. I once stepped off the bus in front of my high school and fell flat on my face and my book bag spilled open. Knowing the kind of nerd I am, you can only imagine the flurry of papers and books that went flying. But I shoved my stuff into my backpack and walked into the building with my head held high. Why? I have no clue! Panic kept me calm.

I try to focus on these things each day:
  • I like eating healthy. To my stalker, should I leave some apples on your front porch?
  • I like exercising. Walking used to really get on my nerves, but it is my happy time now.
  • I love yoga. Been this way for years. Namaste.
  • I like myself fat or not as fat. Win-win if I lose weight.
  • I only care what these people think: God, my husband, my mom. Unfortunately, the rest of you will have to deal with me as I am. If I fail, I only have to answer to myself, God, my husband and my mom. I do not have to answer to you.
  • I am okay with failure. Falling off the wagon. Setbacks. I will deal with them as they come. I’m training myself for the marathon not the sprint, folks! Remember, didn't I warn you that this was the slowest, nothing ever happens, not quick (but hopefully long lasting) diet you've ever seen?
Weird Weight Loss Tips
Be well. Being sick can mess up your exercise habits and make you crave unwise food choices. Take your vitamins. Get rest. Eat a baked potato and have some soup. Focus on your exercise plan for when you are better. That’s what I'm doing. Still on the road to recovery.

Weird Weight Loss Tips for my Stalker
Don't do what I do. I am a bad example for everything. Stay in the closet. If telling the world you are trying to lose weight doesn’t work for you, keep it in the closet (Thanks, Michael Jackson, but I was really thinking of that that awesome R. Kelly song Trapped in the Closet. Viewing or listening to all or part of this song is an appetite suppressant, oh, yes it was). If you really want to keep your weight loss under wraps, don’t tell your spouse or me. I can’t keep a secret.

Be patient. Really. Think about it. Don't expect results to happen right away. Plan on making a permanent life change. This leads me to my final weird weight loss tip . . .

You are going to have to marry healthy eating and exercising. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes your weight loss in a baby carriage.

Thanks for bearing with and without me this week. Happy eating and exercising until Monday! To my stalker: I love you! I know you can do it. Want to make a walking date with me?


  1. I will tell my stalker what the "8 headed hydra" means if he/she agrees to go walking with me. :)

  2. Nicki. You're right being human is cool. Give yourself permission to fail. Guess what you can't fail if you don't try. If you don't ever try then you do nothing at all, which leave you in a worse place. Hugs from O-town.

  3. Eh...everyone slips. I lost 15 pounds before going on my vacation last week. A group of friends and I go to Jekyll Island once or twice a year, and two of the highlights of the trip are the best crab cakes in the state (Barbara Jeans, how I love thee) and board game nights with my friends where good beach drinks are consumed (my favorite being lemonade and Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka...I keep telling myself that the health benefits of tea balance out the calories and sugar). I indulged in both (in moderation).
    I got back into town and got back on track. I'm sure you will too. :)


  4. Sometimes I cannot balance the portion control, food choice and exercise all at the same time. I find it too much to manage. So, I fallback to focusing on just one or two healthy habits.

    For the last month, I've not kept up with my food journal -- which I know is really important part of my weight loss. I find it boring and tedious and simply have to take break from it.

    To compensate, I've ramped up my exercise. Doing more cardio and cycling to keep calories buring.

    The end result was last month was still a favorable month -- the rate just slowed.

    One issue I don't like with "diets" is the lack of flexibility. Dropping a couple of healthy habits for a month will not sabatoage your weight loss or health. So, I've learned to cut myself some slack and then make a promise to myself to get back on track 100% within a couple of weeks.

  5. Chudney, I love being human, but being a cyborg would be cool, too! I also love failing. It means that at least I tried.

    Mandy, glad to hear you had a nice trip. What I learned at H3 is that indulgences are good for you as long as they aren't frequent. Did you say crab cakes and sweet tea vodka? What do I have to do to get on the invite list next year?

    Jeff, I'm in awe of your dedication to exercise. I think in the long run it will all balance out. I know you are a good cook, so you have that going for you, too! I'll be back on track 100% with you soon. Thanks for stopping by.

  6. Thanks Nicki! I haven't logged in to WW for weeks because of "failing." You remind us all that it is a blessing to be human (and to know humans like you). Thanks again.

  7. Being called a human is the nicest thing anyone has called me all week.